I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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