Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
