So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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