So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
