Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
