Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
