I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
