Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
