Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
