When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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