So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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