I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
