I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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