my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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