i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
