come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
