dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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