I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize