making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
