Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
