Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
