Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
