Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
