i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
