nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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