how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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