I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
