Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
