I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
