She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
