Already got asked if we're dating
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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