Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
