The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
