Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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