She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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