Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize