Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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