thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
