Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
