I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
