i think my mom watched the whole time
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
