Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
