I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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