I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
