btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
