There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
