You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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