Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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