Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
