I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
