he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
