do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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