on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
