Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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