I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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