Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
