Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
