i don't like sucking hair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
