So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
