I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didn't notice because vodka
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
