just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
