It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
