I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
