So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
